Singing Those Baby Blues

Well we have made it home and are in the middle of trying to figure out a new normal.  It was good to be home.  We had both reached the point in the hospital of just being ready to move on.

I want to start by saying that I absolutely do not think that post partum depression is anything to joke about.  I know it is very real and there is no shame AT ALL in getting the appropriate help.

However.  I've got me some baby blues that are just plain funny.  Kinda sorta.  There's been a few things that I've shed tears over that really do have merit.

I have cried for my friends that either struggle with infertility or have lost babies due to miscarriage.  It's not something that we have dealt with but I feel grief just thinking about it and can't imagine what the reality of it would actually feel like.

Or like when Summer came home.  She had been at my parents for the week and I cried because I missed her.  And then she came home and I cried and cried when I put her to bed for the first time because everything is different now.  And while just a week ago she seemed so small to me, now she seems so huge!  It was one of those moments when I was begging time to just stand still.  Oh, and she loves the bouncy seat.  It's like her new little recliner:)

And then there's other reasons I cry that deserve a little chuckle.  The thought of watching a movie in the basement where we usually do was just too much.  I insisted on watching it in the living room on my laptop because the basement was just too overwhelming!

I wanted a mom.  My mom hadn't come out yet and Danny's mom is on vacation.  And even though he was home with me during that time, I just wanted a mom.

The smell of my post partum bathroom supplies.... Weird, I know.  But the smell made me miss being in the hospital with all the nice, doting nurses.  Even though just two days earlier I was chomping at the bit to get out of there.  But you know- hormones!

I drove my car for the last time.  We just bought a van and my car is for sale now.  It's a great one if you're interested!  But anyway- I took it out for one final spin and just let the tears fall.  I don't know though- that reason might be an actual good one to cry.  I'm gonna miss that car!!

It's evening time.  And at this point that's as good of a reason as any to just have a good cry.

This all happened with Summer too and it lasted a couple weeks.  So I know things will get better.  But in the meantime it's been quite the roller coaster of emotion over here!

Other than that, we've been loving our baby snuggles,

getting to know some cousins, (check out that mouth!)

and seeing our name in lights, among other things.

I'm pretty spoiled as far as easing into a new routine.  Between Danny and my mom, I have almost two weeks of extra help before it's just me and the two kiddos.  It's pretty handy!  We'll get there... all in good time:)