Disappointment, Fear, Hard Things

I have so many thoughts in my head.  They're not floating around- more like zinging around like a pinball machine on steroids.  

We were supposed to be leaving for Florida today for our annual pilgrimage.  Some of Danny's family is still going, some have opted to stay home.  The day Trump cancelled flights from Europe was the day I knew in my heart we wouldn't be going.  It wasn't until a few days later that we made the official decision to not go.  I was (and still am) so sad.

My tiny little hometown with it's tiny little high school with less than 200 students excelled in basketball this year.  The boys team made it to the Final Four and had a great chance of winning state when the tournament was cancelled.

So many plans changed that are completely out of our control.  So many things that are disappointing, yes, but really don't matter in the grand scheme of things.

So much other heartache going on in the midst of a really chaotic world.  Whether the chaos from COVID-19 is necessary or not, I'm not sure.  Probably not as necessary as what people are doing.  But the heartache for some people continues, quarantine or not.  Death, illness, strained family relationships, you name it.  Those things don't stop just because someone says wash your hands and stay home.  They only become more complicated.

For me personally, my grandma is getting close to meeting Jesus.  While I am so happy for her, it is hard to not be there during this time.  I missed the funeral for my Grandpa Aeschleman, but I was there during all of his last days.  It's a special time for the family.  I had already gotten married and moved to Indiana when my Grandpa Hodel was on his deathbed, but was able to make it back for his last couple days and of course for the visitation and funeral.  Again, a special time for the family.  I just had a chance this afternoon to talk with grandma on FaceTime.  She is so excited to die!  And even though I can say goodbye on the phone, it's hard to not have that special time with the family and the closure that comes with a visitation and funeral.

The coronavirus has officially come to Haiti.  If it's really as bad as some people say it is, it will be devastating to the country.  The virus, yes, but also the ripple effects that come along with it.  The problems will go far beyond a respiratory disease.  And people don't have a lot of access to soap and water, or at least clean water, to wash hands frequently.  Limited healthcare, panicked people who will be afraid to go to market, market vendors who will quit bringing food to the market because they have no customers, desperation increasing.

Today is the first day of everything being shut down, and there is already an influx of people at the gate.  I cannot help them all.  Part of me wants to try to help at least some, part of me just gets annoyed that they are there asking for more and more and more.

Today is the first day I have wrestled with fear over the whole thing.  Between that and several other things going on, the last few days have been highly emotional.  Pregnancy hormones don't help either:)  So it has been a day of music listening, devotion reading, praying, thinking, quoting scripture about fear.... and some tears shed too.

So.  All of the above might make sense, or it might not.  Maybe doing any sort of processing on here wasn't a good idea.  I don't know.  But it's the real deal, I guess.

And so to end things on a little bit lighter note, here's a picture of the kids when they were all super happy and Danny was tickling them all together and I just love it:)

Also, your cultural picture of the post:  We have a mango tree right outside our back porch.  The branches hang over the tin roof that is on the porch.  The mangos are not ripe yet but are getting bigger and fall onto the tin roof.  Which sounds like gunshots.  And they don't necessarily abide by our schedules.  They fall in the middle of the night, just as they fall in the middle of the day.  So Danny hired this kid with a slingshot and a good aim to try and shoot as many as possible out of the tree so they would quit falling and causing us to jump out of our skin every so often!

Thanks for your prayers.  We haven't forgotten that a lot of you have a lot of hard things going on too, and we pray for you as well.

Here We Go Again...

Because we haven't had enough big changes recently...

This was a very difficult picture to take!  Tucker had different ideas of what to do with his sign than what I had envisioned for him:)

So, here's the answers to (at least some of) your questions:

I was pretty nauseous for awhile.  I am not back to normal, but I am definitely getting better.  Evenings can still be pretty rough, and if I am not careful about the type of food I eat and the amount I eat than I regret it.  Rich, creamy food gets me every time.  Taste so good, feels so bad.

We are planning to come home to have the baby.  The time we spent considering having it here in Haiti was pretty short lived.  We know things can change and for some reason we might be here.  But as long as we have any say in the matter, we will be coming home.

I don't really have any inclinations as to what it is yet.  Summer has been diligently praying for a sister for quite awhile now.  Before we told the kids I asked her "What if God would give us another baby and it would be a boy?  Would you be okay with that?"  And she says "Well, yeah, it would be okay.  But I just don't NEED another brother!"

I haven't had any appointments yet but I will plan to do prenatal care down here.  The OB doctor has a very good reputation and speaks excellent English and I am plenty comfortable going to him.  This has definitely been a reminder in how much I put my trust in men rather than God.  Even though this doctor here is really good, he doesn't have many of the resources available to him that my doctor in the states would.  Those resources give me a lot of comfort when I think about things going wrong.  But, just as with everything, God is in control and I do believe that, and now it's time to put that belief into maybe a little more action than I have in the past.

We are..... excited:)  And a little overwhelmed.  And maybe questioning our sanity.  But overall excited.

And that's all I can think of for now!  (Pregnancy brain, you know...)

Visitors!!

We have enjoyed some visitors in the recent days and weeks!  A couple weeks ago, my uncle was in Haiti with a team and was able to come spend a few hours with us.  We had a great time catching up and the kids loved playing with him.  We're so glad he could come!

This past week my parents were in country.  My mom spent the whole time with us while my dad did a lot of work with the organizations he is heavily involved in.  He was able to come up yesterday though, and spend the night with us!

My favorite thing that mom did while she was here was all the dishes!  She just jumped right in and I don't think I washed a single dish all week.  So amazing!  The kids' favorite thing was that she brought face paints:)  It was a huge hit!!

Even huger of a hit was when she agreed to let Summer paint her face in return.Summer was more than delighted and took her job very seriously!

Sawyer, who mostly boycotts naps these days, couldn't help but fall asleep to the sound of grandma's late afternoon book reading time.  Twice she sat down to read books with the kids and after awhile we noticed Sawyer cashed out!

Also, it just so happened that she was here over our anniversary.  Since date night places are pretty limited, we did a little at home date.  She had brought in some boneless skinless chicken for me and I had sent down some Panda Express orange chicken sauce.  So the kids had hot dogs while me and my hubby of six years now had orange chicken and fried rice.  We ate in our locked bedroom where we enjoyed a movie with no interruptions and no falling asleep because we actually started it in good time:)  It was quite tasty and about as fun as it gets as far as dates go around here.  We were really glad for that time!

But now, as of this afternoon, they are gone:(  We loved having them here!  Thanks for all the help, mom!