Endings And Beginnings

Beginning is always a word I'm not sure if I'm spelling right.  I always think it should have two g's for some reason.  And then I type it out both ways to see which one looks the best and I always come to the conclusion that what I have in the title of this post is correct.  It helps when the red squiggly line shows up underneath the other option.  But I digress. 

Oh, I've always wanted to use that sentence!  I read it in other people's writings and it took me a long time to even figure out what it meant.  I mean, all I really needed to do was to look up the definition but I guess I'm a little slow or something because I didn't do that for a long time.  But now I know what people mean when they say that and so now I can say it too.  Oh lookie there.  I digressed again:)

ANYWAY.....

After Covid made it's rounds in our circle, we filled the time we had left in the states as much as we could spending time with family and friends.  And in the meantime Tanner got chunky.  Or maybe I already mentioned that.  But he is over the 50% though I can't remember for sure where he falls.  (4th child woes)  It might even be close to 75%.  But before him, Tucker was our chunkiest baby coming in at the 10%.  He's just such a little squish!!

Thanksgiving with Danny's family- grandma did some of the games she had planned for her fall party that was cancelled and Sawyer was double fisting the apples after the bobbing was completed.

Guys.  My mom found my first pair of glasses from when I was in 1st grade.  I remember getting those... I wanted a blue pair like some of the other kids in my class had.  My dad convinced me to get these.  They have a tiny picture of a smurf on the sides which is how he made me say they were okay to get.  Looking back from an adult perspective, I'm sure it's just because they were a lot cheaper than the blue ones!!  Oh and the dots on Summer's forehead are from dressing up like an Indian at school.  But really, did I look that cute/dorky???

We were so happy to have some snow before we left!  I think Summer was the most excited.  She loves to play in the snow!  When she got dropped off from school that day, it took her forever to come inside the house.  Finally I opened the door to see what was up and she was just taking her time, eating snow before she came in!

This guy opted for a snack instead of the snow.  He pretty much chooses snacks over anything.  Truly, "snack" was one of his first words!

Seriously.  I just want to smooshle him!  Rolls for dayz.

And then our furlough was done.  My goodness there was a lot that happened during that time.  August 2, when we left Haiti, seems so, so long ago.  Yet our time in the states went so fast.  We were all ready to come back and I was so thankful for that.  Just a few weeks earlier I wasn't quite able to say that I was ready.  But we just reached that point when it was time.

Travelling went amazingly smooth.  I don't doubt that God heard people's prayers on our behalf.  The kids did great, and the flight attendants were kind.  We left Danny's parents at 9:00 Saturday morning and pulled into our drive about 3:30 Sunday afternoon.  It was a long journey, we were all so very tired, but it was good to be back.

It was also great to have Danny's parents along for the ride.  They were so helpful with the kids while we travelled and got settled in.  We had a house that was torn apart because it had been painted while we were gone, lots of luggage to unpack, and the most recent container that was shipped arrived on Sunday so all of that stuff showed up at our house too.  It would have taken about 3 times as long to get settled in if they had not been here!

We had sent some of our baby gear on the container and the bumbo promptly got used by the big kids.  Sawyer said to me, "Look mom!  I still fit in the dumbo!"  Oh, and that's his new smile.

We sent some Christmas decorations down before we had even moved in.  Last year we were still in the states for Christmas after evacuating so I was excited to bust them out this year!  This little tree was perfect for the kids to decorate.  It's already haphazardly being held up with a box and books so I had no problem letting go and allowing the kids to have full control of decorating it.  It was the perfect size for them and they had a blast!

Tanner experienced Haitian church for the first time.  He wasn't sure what to think of all that noise!  But eventually he settled in and took a little nap and we stayed a lot longer than I expected we would.

All the kids still adore him.  But the one who surprises me the most is Sawyer.  He just loves to be right by him and talk real sweet into his face.  The other day Tanner was fussing in his bouncy seat and Sawyer tried showing him a book to cheer him up!

First day of school for the second time this year!  We loved loved loved our experience at KA the first  part of the school year.  We are so thankful they let us in for just a few months:)  We took one week off to get settled in and then started back up again, this time as the Bonne Fin Geckos!  It's a beautiful little school, just perfect for a small amount of students.  With the Herrmann's being in the states right now, that leaves Summer as the only one.  So Miss Trinity said it would be okay if we sent Sawyer a few days a week too!  They had their first day yesterday and came home with rave reports about how great it was!  Well, except Summer was disappointed to learn she still had to do handwriting:)  Tucker was sad that he didn't get to stay.  We came home and within five minutes I couldn't find him.  Sure enough he had gone outside, pushed open the gate, and was headed up the hill.  He almost made it all the way to the school before I realized he was gone!  So needless to say we will be locking the gate from now on.

We are glad to be back.  It feels good to be in our own house and to start finding our routine again.  We know there will be days when we feel really worn down from loneliness, stresses of cross cultural living, and spiritual warfare.  But we are at peace being here and we know people are praying.  We can feel it!  So thank you for that if you are one of those people:)  You pray for us and we'll pray for you!

What We've Been Up To

In between birthdays and new babies and such, we've squeezed in plenty of things to do!  We spent the week of fall break in Illinois.  Going to the pumpkin patch was one of the highlights for the kids.  Except I had packed only cold weather clothes and the weather was not cold that day at all!  We had some rosy cheek kiddos by the time we were finished but they still enjoyed the day.

Farming was another highlight.  Aunt Jamie hauled the big kids around for a couple of days, much to their (and my) delight!  They loved all the cousin time.  And I got to ride in the combine for an afternoon, too.  It's a treat to ride and chat it up with my brother for a couple hours!

I took Summer to Caleris for a little breakfast date and she got to help decorate a cookie!  And eat frosting, of course.

And Tanner got to meet my side of the family.

We've spent lots of time at the doctor catching up on all the appointments we've missed and making sure Tanner gets a healthy start.

Why is watching the laundry go so much fun???

Spending one of those nice warm afternoons at a park.

Loving on this little chunka wunka.  The kids do really good with him.  Tucker is getting a little less gentle than he was at first.  He wants to play things like "sit on the baby" and "poke the baby's face" and things like that.  Tanner is not quite ready to play those games and makes it known when Tucker tries.

I just took him in for his two month checkup and he comes in at the 75th percentile!  After having babies that are in about the 5%, he is HUGE!!!!!!

We also spent our time in quarantine when the big bad 'rona hit us.  I only had mild symptoms but it was really hard on Danny.  He was down for the count for about a week.  We were all glad to see it go and bid it good riddance.  And it is not welcome back to make another visit.

Also we bought plane tickets to go back to Haiti.  It's got us feeling all 😀😭😬  We've got mixed emotions for sure.  Ready to not be living in limbo, ready to not be using a bunch of borrowed things, ready to settle into our routine again... but not ready to say good-bye to family and friends, not ready to be separated from convenience and restaurants:).  We don't want to make it sound like Haiti is a terrible place to live, because it's not.  There are things we enjoy about it.  But there's a lot of really big unknowns as we head into this next go 'round.  We feel isolated and we feel a level of spiritual warfare that we don't feel up here.  Going back isn't this light and fun thing.  There are many factors that make it feel really heavy, but we also feel that it's time.

December 5 is our departure date.  We plan to spend Thanksgiving weekend back in IL again with my family, and then have a week here in IN to pack and say our goodbyes before we head out.  We won't turn down any prayers!!

Four Years With Sawyer

*Edit* this post has not been thought out ahead at all and I wrote it at the end of a busy day so there's no telling how much sense it makes or how many typos there are!!

Well we have quite the string of birthdays in our family.  Three in September and one in October makes for a lot of cake in a short amount of time.  Which I'm not sure is really anything to complain about.  I love cake.

Anyway.  The final party in the lineup was finally today.

Our not-so-little-anymore buddy is four!  He has been waiting for this day for a very, very long time.  He's had big plans for months:)  He didn't quite get EVERYTHING on his list but I think he was satisfied with the day!  

He wanted a banana cake.  I'm not sure how he even came up with that but it made things pretty easy for me to just make some banana bars and call it good!  I forgot to set a timer and the bars were a little overdone, I added too much powdered sugar to the frosting and it was a little dry, and my writing with a tube of decorating gel was a little less than stellar but he was quite forgiving.  And it still tasted alright after all that.

He had a little party last week when we were in IL too.  Also he's been on a bit of a dinosaur kick lately and those were his decorations of choice.

Sawyer has loved having Tanner in our family.  He's been so sweet towards him!

He is such a hoot.  He's just kind of a natural clown so this outfit he decided to try on suits him well!

Back in June or so, Danny and Summer did a daddy/daughter date night and Sawyer was then all about having a mother/son date.  He can be really sweet!  He wanted to go somewhere where we could eat and play games.  He loves to play games.  So while we were in IL over Labor Day weekend we headed to Common Grounds where yummy food and board games live.  Oh and also it was hard to see the pictures before I put them on the blog and I did not notice that I chose one where I had such an amazing look on my face:)

And only I ate the CG food cause he really wanted McDonald's.  I'm thankful for friends who own restaurants and aren't offended when I carry in different food for my three year old who knows what he wants!

Sawyer has plenty of energy to spare but sometimes, SOMEtimes I catch him doing something quiet.  Also he really loves his big sister:)  Ever since she went to Kindergarten he just can't hardly deal with his life.  He misses having her around!

Also ever since she went to Kindergarten he has taken it upon himself to fill our ears with his voice.  Fill them.  To the brim.  Like, one time I took him to get groceries with me and the whole experience took a total of almost two hours.  And I kid you not, I heard his voice the ENTIRE time.  He is quite the little chatterbox!

But as much as our ears are full, our hearts are even fuller.  This kid has big emotions, big ideas, big plans, a big list of imaginary friends, a big smile...  but he loves pretty big too.  And we just love him right back!

Happy Birthday Buddy!!

Tucker The Two Year Old

 Tucker Joseph has reached the two year mark in his life:)

He is such a joy to have around.  He is also exhausting.  But his personality and shenanigans are always bringing us laughs.  And being here in the states he's had some good time with his cousin Elliot to join in the shenanigans!

Just like any two year old, he is full of opinions about his food.  But if it's something he likes, the boy is a beast!!  He out-eats his older siblings and could maybe even out-eat me if given the chance.  Maybe.

Again with the shenanigans... (the pictures got out of order)

He cannot be expected to be content with sharing anymore.  If Summer and Sawyer have something, he must also have it!

He has really been in the mix as far as playing with the others.  We are starting to see some good, fun brotherly rough housing happening between him and Sawyer.  Well, until someone gets hurt of course.

Such buddies!

He is a ham.  And he knows and loves when he's making people laugh:)

Last night we went to Ft. Wayne to see Tanner's name on the Parkview billboard and then grabbed a quick supper.  My mom was with us and she commented how she understands why we don't like to eat out a lot with the kids.  Then she said something about especially because we have a newborn.  And I said "Yeah and we also have a Tucker."

But my goodness how we love our Tucker.

Happy Birthday, buddy!

Teeny Tiny Tanner

Well, here we are!  Tonight (Thursday) at midnight I was supposed to go in to get induced but sometimes things change!  There were several things going on the last few weeks that caused me plenty of anxiety over this baby/labor/delivery and I really tried to get my doctor to let me go before 39 weeks.  The first three kids I always wanted to just go on my own.  After having Tucker come so fast though in the middle of the night (2 hour labor), plus the convenience of planning as far as getting back to Haiti goes, I had decided pretty early on that I wanted to just get induced at 39 weeks rather than wait around for the unknown arrival time.  By the time I was 36 weeks, my body was already showing plenty of signs that things were set to go into motion at a very rapid pace.  And probably earlier than expected but not necessarily.  My blood pressure was too high and my platelets were too low and everything hurt all the time.  I walked like I was 88 instead of 38!  Plus knowing that it would probably be really quick again and we live 45 minutes from the hospital....... all of that combined caused some crazy anxiety that I have never really experienced before.  But my doctor, though I love her bedside manner and the confidence she has in what she does, she wouldn't let me go earlier than 39 weeks without a strong medical reason.

However, last Friday, at 38 weeks, I started feeling contractions about once an hour in the early afternoon.  Nothing crazy but definitely notable.  As the evening wore on they continued and started increasing in frequency, but not really in length or how strong they were.  Either way, I was pretty uncomfortable.  And so scared to go to sleep!  I laid awake until about 2 in the morning waiting and timing and counting and the jolted awake at 3:00 thinking things were really happening.  They weren't.  But that happened two more times until a little after 5:00 when I told Danny "This is dumb.  Let's just call your mom and go in, even though there's a good chance they'll send me home."  I knew it was likely just Braxton Hicks because of how irregular things were, but at the same time, they never stopped no matter how I laid or sat or stood or walked.

It was quite a bit different from the last trip into the hospital to have a baby!  Rather than moaning and groaning and crawling my way into triage, I was talking and nervous laughing and totally coherent.  They hooked me up to the monitor and could see that something was going on but they couldn't really call it labor.  The rounding physician came in and said she hoped my BP was juuuusst a little too high:)  She said she didn't want to send me home but needed to find a good enough reason to let me stay.  So basically all the things that I had been worrying about finally got put to good use and I was able to be admitted.  Once I knew we were staying and were going to have this baby, my anxiety just dropped.  Not completely, mind you, because going through labor isn't necessarily fun and games no matter how you look at it!

So off we went to the delivery room, getting all the goods like an epidural and a slow pitocin drip.  They were so very gracious and did my fluids right away, let us order breakfast while those were going, and THEN start the pitocin.  And they didn't even make me wait until I had a good strong labor pattern before they called the anesthesiologist.  It was a dream come true!  Until it wasn't.  All of a sudden kinda out of nowhere, the epidural was NOT working.  And I was already almost to transition by that point so things got real uncomfortable real quick.  That's when Kevin came into the picture.

Kevin is that peanut shaped ball sitting next to Danny on the couch.  They call him Kevin because they said he looks like a minion:)  My nurse was so sweet.  She wasn't a new nurse but she was new to labor and delivery.  She asked me if I wanted to use the peanut but the way she was talking I thought she meant I was out of luck and would need to just get out of bed and sit on the peanut and do my best to finish strong.  I asked if we could just call anesthesia first to see if there was anything we could do.  But then a different nurse came in who was just as sweet but got right down to business.  She re-positioned me and got me all snuggled up with Kevin and soon enough that blessed epidural drip was once again finding it's way to all the right places.  Oh it was such sweet relief!  It also really got things moving and  within another 30 minutes or so it was time to meet our baby!  And find out once and for all that it was indeed a boy!

After clean up and recovery it was off to post partum to get settled in for awhile and get to know our sweet little Tanner.  He's our smallest baby, weighing in at 6 lbs 7 oz.  After the other boys being 8.5 and 8.1 he was just so little!  Hence the name Teeny Tiny Tanner.

The tech gave him a mohawk after his bath:)

So sweet and snuggly!  His bilirubin was a little high and we had to wait around longer than expected so they could retest him on Monday but he passed the second time!

All ready to go!  There's just really not much difference between carrying an empty car seat and carrying one with him in it.

Aaaannnnnd cue the tears here.  This is always the point I've started to get emotional and have my post partum hormones kick in.  Throw in the fact that as far as we are concerned this is our last go round and it hit hard right then!  I told my doctor this was it and she laughed and said she's heard that before!!

The big kids were well taken care of while we were in the hospital!  They had lots of fun family time and I'm not sure they really missed us!

But they're all big fans of Tanner already- even Tucker loves to give him kisses!  Or maybe I should say so far instead of already.  Reality of what a new baby actually means probably hasn't actually set in for them.  But we are glad to be home and ready(ish) to figure out life with four kiddos.

Danny asked me how I felt about everything and I said I just had such a big feeling of thankfulness.  Thankful for a healthy baby who is here safe.  I know it ends differently for so many people.

Praise God for our sweet baby who was knit together in his mother's womb and is fearfully and wonderfully made!

Settling In

We've been here a month now- that went quick!  But we have settled into a routine of sorts that will be completely upended here in a short time with baby coming along quickly.  Danny's been working remotely in the mornings and then is home with the rest of us in the afternoons and evenings.  Sometimes we'll have plans but for the most part we've been enjoying this time of rest and normalcy before big changes come!

After we left my family we headed out to Danny's but stopped halfway in between for a few days of our missionary orientation.  I have but one picture from that time.

But really, that's how we all felt!  It was a wonderful time but it was packed with information and thinking and processing and fellowship and we were tired!!  But definitely worth it for us.  We loved being with others who are on the field, some we know very well and some not so well.  To get thoughts and perspective from those in other places who have been on the field a lot longer than us was enlightening and encouraging!

Then we headed the rest of the way to our home base where we pretty much immediately started in with family time!

We were there for the annual zoo trip which the kids loved but I have to say it's quite a bit more enjoyable for me when I'm not waddling around with a maternity belt and compression socks:)  Thank goodness for benches in the shade!

Since we are going to be here longer than a normal furlough, we decided to actually send Summer to Kindergarten rather than try to home school for just a few months with a brand new baby.  After counting down the days for a long time, she was SO excited when the first day finally rolled around.  But then she woke up that morning with a nasty cold and we decided we better not send her.  Tears were shed, that's for sure!  But a few days later she was deemed well enough to go and it was Oh Happy Day!  So far she has loved it and we are happy to have a place that kindly lets us send her for just a short while!

My birthday is this week and I told Danny I really didn't have high expectations this year because of how life is right now but he exceeded anything I had in mind!  The kids each got me a little something form the dollar store and I got to open one present each day.

On Wednesday, the day before my birthday, he informed me he would not be working that day and we had plans!  We dropped the kids off at grandma's and went to Shipshewana for the day!  I had never been there and had dropped hints that I would like to go sometime.  Apparently my hints made Danny think I had been there before because he was surprised when I told him I had never been there!

We did some walking around the flea market and a few other places too, but we didn't push it too hard because of aforementioned waddling/belt/socks situation.  One of my favorite parts of the day was our horse and buggy ride with our driver Elmer.  He was such a nice old fella and I really enjoyed hearing about his life and talking about Anabaptist history and spiritual things! 

And then on top of all that he got me a couple presents from himself that were the kind of gifts that make you know he's paying attention to the things you like and that would mean something:)

Thursday we came back out to Illinois to squeeze in one last weekend before the baby comes.  And speaking of the baby, I had very minimal prenatal care in Haiti.  Partly because of COVID and partly because there just isn't as much routine prenatal care down there.  And what I did have, I had no records to show for it.  So my doctor has been catching me up on all the blood work and tests and such and wanted to to an ultrasound as well.  So I did that on Tuesday.  And surprise!!  The baby we've thought to be a girl since week 13 is apparently a boy!  Most likely that is true, but I hardly know what to think and I'm not sure it's completely sunk in for me yet.  And who knows- maybe it really is still a girl.  I like to get "going home from the hospital" outfits and I told Danny I might have to get one of each gender just to cover all my bases:)  We had two ultrasounds in Haiti and both times I agreed with the doctor that it looked like a girl but on Tuesday things definitely looked different than before!  Either way, we're good.  There were a few more tears shed by Summer when we told her but I think she's accepted it and moved on by now.

So until next time...