The last few weeks my life have consisted of working at the elevator and loving it, along with still juggling school and not so much loving it. The days I've been in class I find myself wondering how foolish it would be to quit school for a job that lasts just six or seven weeks out of the year. Cause that's how much I love working at the elevator during harvest:) But then I start thinking more "big picture" and come to terms with the fact that it probably would not be the wisest of decisions. But really- I've been loving it! (Harvest, that is)
However, except for one, possibly two more Saturdays, it has come to an end because I start my clinicals tomorrow. I was excited about it at one point in time and I'm pretty sure I'll get excited for it again once I start, but until then, I'm not sure how I feel. It's the whole harvest thing. Once that's over I'll feel a lot better about being at clinical. I'm going to be at an adult day care type place. It's for people with Alzheimer's, traumatic brain injury, or something of the sort. People who don't live in a facility, but can't be alone during the day when their families are at work. The people with Alzheimer's are not really progressed in their disease yet, and will still be able to interact, though I may find myself having the same conversation 50 times each day. In one of my jobs I worked with a lady who had Alzheimer's and I really enjoyed her, so I do think that once I meet the people and get accustomed to the place, all will be well. But my nerves are definitely a little on edge right now! I struggle so badly with feelings of inadequacy when it comes to my ability to do things. I mean, I get it "on paper" and do fine in my classes, but I always have a fear that the way I implement the things I've learned will be wrong wrong wrong. I can't tell you how many times during an evaluation in past jobs I've seen something like "Sarah does a good job, but she needs to work on being more confident." What can I say? I'm a lot more of a mess than people realize! Oh boy. Look at me, spilling all my secrets and insecurities. Sure didn't intend to do that when I started this post!!
Anywho, other than that, I have an apple crisp baking in the oven right now for potluck tonight and smells deeeelish! It's a recipe that I've never tried before so I sure hope it's good!
Looking forward into the next month I'm pretty sure there will be some pretty entertaining events in my life. Stuff with friends, stuff with friends' weddings.... it's always nice to have something to look forward to. That's the only thing about harvest that I don't like. You plow through all the long hours and then when it's over you realize you haven't really seen or talked to anybody in what seems like forever! So it will be good to get out and be social again:)
