Last Week's World Travels

Last week I was able to go on a work team to Magdalena.  I went over Thanksgiving with this group a couple years ago and loved it.  The group was really neat and the huge Thanksgiving dinner was a lot of fun to help prepare and of course, eat!  I have been able to keep in touch with several of the people in that group and knew that I wanted to go on that team again.  I wasn't able to go last year but this year I was.  I don't have a lot of pictures of the work we got done, but you can probably just assume it's the same as it is on every work team.  Concrete, organizing, cleaning, fixing things.... all the basics.  So rather I think I'll just highlight some of my friends and favorite memories of the trip.  There was a group of us 20-something girls that spent a lot of time together.  I knew all of them before but this week definitely solidified our friendship.  There were lots of laughs and lots of good talks between us and I was lifted up and encouraged by spending time with them.

It was so good to see Kristi again too.  It was fun seeing her and Joel's house.  Even though she's posted pictures online it's still hard to really envision everything.  And Beni is just as stinking cute as she says he is!  I was bummed that I didn't get a picture of all their boys together but I guess that just gives me an excuse to go back, right?  The picture of me and her is a self portrait which never really turns out really well but at least we got one together!

It was also a lot of fun to be with my cousins, Jared and Seth.  These two are the youngest of the family and for so many years that's how I defined them- my little cousins.  But both of them are all grown up now and making their own lives.  It's fun watching them be in the position I was in just a few years ago.  It's also neat to see them step up and take on leadership roles.  Plus, they're just a lot of fun.  They make me laugh. 

I also got to spend a lot of time with Tyler and Whit.  I miss being with them.  Moving to Colorado and Illinois puts a little damper on being able to see them very often.  So having a week together was great.

 I didn't get any good pictures of the Thanksgiving dinner but that was definitely a highlight.  Someone said that between the CVE family, the work team and people from the community there were around 400 there.  I had the privilege of being in the serving line and loved seeing all the people come through.  And by the end of the night I could say "Do you want potatoes?" and "Do you want this?" (pointing to the stuffing) fluently in Spanish!  Slow and steady, I guess.  Maybe next year I'll pick up on another important and frequently used phrase:)

Friday there was some cement work and brush clearing that needed to be finished up.  While most of the group went and did that a few of us stayed back to pack up and start cleaning the dorms.  We got as much clean as we could but there were a few things we couldn't do until everyone else was packed up.  So when the dirty crews came back to clean up we came to a good stopping point and then borrowed someone's car, drove into town and got us some fish tacos and ice cream!  My opinion?  They weren't as good as some people make them out to be and I would probably rather have regular ole beef tacos, but they were good and we had a lot of fun going!

We left around 3:00 on Friday afternoon and by 6:00 we were loaded back onto the charter bus in Nogales, ready to go.  But not before having a picnic of Little Ceasar's pizza in the Safeway parking lot!

Sleeping on a charter bus two nights in a row makes for much creaking, groaning and cramping of the bones and muscles.  But is it all worth it?  Oh yes.  I rolled into my driveway around 5:30 Sunday morning, cleaned up and slept a couple more hours before getting up for church.  It was a great week! 

Coming soon: "When You're Bored On A Bus..."

Reflecting Back

November 17.  Not a terribly significant day to most people.  Not even to me really.  But every year when November 17 rolls around I get a little reflective of the past.  Today would have been my brother Jake's 23rd birthday.  This is not something that consumes my life.  But I do think about it some, especially on his birthday and the day he died.  He actually was my second brother to die, after Brian, which is a whole different story that I don't know if I'll ever post about.  Mostly because I don't want people to think I'm trying to draw attention to myself.  Anyways, after Brian died, my mom was unable to have any more babies and so they decided to try adopting.  Me and my brother knew nothing of it until we were on the way to the hospital that day.  My parents asked us while we were in the car what we would name a little brother if we ever had one.  I was five and Nate was three.  We really couldn't come up with any names except for the names of boys we knew well from church.  My dad said "Well, how about Jake?"  We both thought that was a pretty good idea.  I remember sitting in a small room in the hospital, still not really aware of what was going on.  Then a doctor walked in carrying a box.  Yes, a box.  Like, one of those filing boxes with a lid on it, not one with flaps.  The lid was off, don't worry!  There's was a little tiny baby in that box and he was ours to keep.  I can only imagine the questions that we asked mom and dad on the way home.  For eight months he was the pride and joy of our house.  We loved having him around.  One night in July though- July 9- he fell between the mattress and the bars of his crib with his face towards the mattress and suffocated.  I won't go into what all I remember from that night becuase I really don't want this to be a post about a horrible night. 
When I think about him, I no longer think of how it's so sad and how much we miss him.  I mostly just wonder what he would be like.  Would he like to farm with dad and Nate? Would he be close to Jared, my cousin who's only one month younger?  Would he be converted?  Would he, unlike the rest of the family, be athletic and agile?  I think my parents said once that he was 1/2 Pakistanian.  Which also makes me wonder sometimes if he would be the victim of prejudice and ridicule, to an extent at least.  Also, in the more recent years, I find myself wondering more and more about his birth mom.  I feel like along with giving your baby up comes a hope of maybe being reunited with them later on in life.  Maybe not, but it seems like that would be true.  I don't know anything about her story.  I don't know if she was a young teenage girl who knew she was too young to take care of her baby.  I don't know if she was in and out of prison and the state gave her no choice but to give her baby away.  I don't know if she just didn't want to have a baby.  At one point, there was a little blue flower that would show up on his grave every year around his birthday and we have wondered in the past if maybe somehow she knew and found his grave.  I feel for her though.  The grief she must have felt giving him away combined with the grief of knowing what happened must have been almost too much to bear.  Sometimes I wish that I could meet her and talk to her.  Probably like most people who lose children, time has healed her wounds and she has been able to move on.  But I'm sure there are so many questions and I would love to just sit down with her.  I would love to hug her and if anything, say thanks for allowing us to love him while we could. 


Well, on a completely different and much lighter note, I'm leaving for Magdalena on Friday morning.  I'm so excited!!  I probably won't post between now and then (not that I post that often anyway) but that's where I'll be.  Have a happy Thanksgiving!

Turns Out I'm A Wimp

So, I always have this idea of how if I ever get around to moving out of my parents house I'd like to live alone.  I've lived with quite the array of girls and while for the most part it was great, I'm kinda ready to be done with girls.  I either want to get married or live by myself.  I almost didn't mention the "m" word because I don't want people to thing that a) I hate being single or b) well, I can't remember what b was.  But let's face it.  I'm 28.  Most of my friends have all moved onto the next stage of life.  Another one of the aforementioned roommates just got engaged a few days ago.  Same with most of my cousins.  Now, there are many a benefit of being single and there are times when I love to reap those benefits.  But there are also plenty of times where the battle to lay my desire for that "m" word at the feet of Jesus is much harder than others. 
I didn't really mean to get on that tangent.  I meant to tell you why it turns out I'm a wimp.  My parents are gone this weekend and I have the house to myself.  Let's just say I'm AWFULLY thankful to know that Jesus is staying here too.  I was just a little leery walking in here all by myself with no neighbors around and no dad to make me feel safe.  So that whole living alone thing?  I may want to rethink it.


Since moving back to Illinois I've definitely struggled with who I am and where I fit in.  Shortly after I moved, before reality really sunk in, we had a great sermon at church about finding our identity in Christ.  I call it the identity crisis sermon.  When I heard it, I hadn't really started struggling with all this yet, but I knew that I probably would soon so I tucked it away in my heart to be used for a later date.  Sure enough, I've had to remind myself of that quite a bit here lately.  I also am learning to recognized Satan in this new way that he's been getting to me.  He's been making me think that I'm just kind of in a dumb spot in my life.  Like I said before, I'm 28.  I came from a great job with not a huge income, but enough.  The last eight years of my life I've been on my own, taking care of the different apartments I've lived in, buying all my own groceries and so on and so forth.  Now, I'm living at home, going to school part time, working part time, not making enough to be as independent as I like and trying to remind myself that that's all okay.  But Satan is there, trying to make me feel bad about where I'm at in my life and who I am.  It doesn't help that the gray hairs are coming in at a much more rapid pace than I ever hoped for and the other day I noticed I'm getting fine lines on my
forehead.  I must raise my eyebrows a lot because all the lines are in the same spot as the creases in my forehead when I raise my eyebrows.  Anyway, I have to remember that when I moved back, I took the path that I felt God was leading me towards.  And I have to remember that there's really nothing wrong with where I'm at, it's just different than what I'm used to.


I'm not sure even why I even wrote all that.  Oh!  I remember the b from earlier.  It goes for the second part of the post too.  I don't want people to feel sorry for me.  That's not at all what the goal is here.  Sometimes it's just theraputic to get it all out in "writing".


So anyways, that's what has been going on in my life and heart lately.  Not really a deep valley or anything, but not a mountaintop either.  Just trying to adjust and level out to this new place.  Oh, and another reason I'm a wimp?  It's so cold up here!!!  There's a whole nother adjustment to deal with...

The Long Awaited Update

I'm sure you all (okay, all four of you) have just been dying for me to update. Because I know this blog is SO exciting and I have so many wonderful things to share that you just can't hardly wait to read about! So, for the sake of those on the edge of their seats and for those who I'm just sure check daily to see if there's an update, here it is:
Let's see... I went to Alabama a few weeks ago. It was a grand ole time but it was not without it's downsides.

I knew something was up with my car when I left. It just didn't sound right. But what's a girl to do? While I was driving I was thinking about how gracious God has been all this time about letting me travel back and forth without any problems. Well, except for the occasional, friendly warning to quit speeding:) But really though, I drove back and forth a LOT over the last four years and every time he kept me from any troubles. I just knew though. I could feel it, that this would be the time I would be put to the test. Sure enough, about ten miles into Tennessee my seat turned into a massage chair from all the vibrating the car was doing. After pulling off and assessing the problem I was pretty sure I just needed to get my spare tire on and be on my way. Unfortunately, I don't have AAA and I wasn't sure what number to call for roadside service with my insurance. So I called 911. I felt dumb but I didn't know what else to do. 20 minutes later the nice lady cop pulls up behind me. I was pretty sure all cops knew how to change a tire (yes, I know I should learn to do it myself). She said she didn't know how to help me though and gave me some numbers to call for a tow service. While I waited on the truck to show up I had a nice long chat with the friendly cop. It was during that time that we realized there had been a miscommunication. She thought I also had mechanical problems which is why she couldn't help me. Once she realized I only needed my tire changed she got to work. She finished up just as the tow truck was pulling up. I felt bad for them but I was really thankful because her getting it done save me $75. The rest of the weekend was spent with my kiddos, catching up with friends, going to Devin's football game and buying a couple new tires. Friday night Cass and me went over to Mark and Bekah's for a euchre night. It was so good to be together with us four again. We spent a lot of time at their house while I lived there and I miss it.

This past weekend a few of us old Queenwood roommates were able to get together.  Sure signs we're getting older?

1.) We met at 10:30

2.) We met at Busy Corner.

It was still fun though.  I just love people who are still comfortable not matter how much time passes.  We missed having Meika, Julia, Kristi, Bethany and Mandy.

Oh, and I have another new place of employment.  I'm working at my cousins restaurant through the holidays at least and then we'll see after that.

Oh, and yesterday?

I love to vote.  I feel so patriotic.